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Maintaining Control Of Your CaseMaintaining control of your divorce can be challenging. It is important, however, that you do the best you can. By controlling your divorce, you are more likely to accomplish your goals and prevent others from deciding your future. There are many ways to maintain control in divorce. Here are a few examples. |
1. Question everything.
Even if you have the best lawyer money can buy, question her recommendations
and actions. Ask her "what", "why", and "how much?" Also, ask her if there are alternatives to her
suggestions, and if there are, to explain them. By maintaining a dialogue with your lawyer, you will
have a clear understanding of your choices and make informed decisions.
2. Learn to say "NO".
Divorce isn’t for the faint at heart. It will likely put you in uncomfortable
situations over and over again. You may face a husband who’s trying to use guilt or intimidation; a lawyer
whose main goal in life is to take your case to trial; and children who prey on your vulnerability.
Learn to stand your ground and say "NO".
3. Be patient and proactive.
It is inevitable, divorce usually takes time.
If you feel as though you don’t
have time, practice patience and be proactive in your case. Ask your lawyer to give you a
"To–Do" list and do the things listed. Than, if possible, relax and take care of yourself.
4. Mediate don’t litigate.
If you can work with your husband to settle the divorce, you can avoid the
courtroom. If you can avoid the courtroom, you can make your own decisions about your future. For more
information, visit our Mediation pages.
5. Don’t let your family determine your fate.
During divorce you may turn to your family for comfort.
Don’t be pressured or coaxed by their opinions. If you can remain detached, listen to their
suggestions and disregard those inconsistent with your needs. If you can’t remain detached,
only spend time with your family if they agree not to mention the divorce while you’re together.
6. Be open to change.
Until your divorce is final, you’ll be facing an ever changing future.
This means you have to expect the unexpected, be willing to change your game plan mid–play,
and have alternative strategies for accomplishing your goals. If you remain unaffected by change
and open to new possibilities, you can maintain control of your divorce.
This article is not legal advice. You should consult an attorney if you have legal questions that relate to your specific divorce.
