Divorce Mediation Planning Preparing for mediation is almost as important as preparing for trial. You must know all of the issues at stake, your risks, alternatives, goals and bottom lines. To determine these, you must plan and do your homework. These steps can help you prepare:

1. Identify all of the issues that must be resolved in your case.
   If you aren’t sure what they are, use our Divorce Issues Checklist to get started and ask your family lawyer for additional help.
   
   
   
2. Break your list of issues in two.
   One list should include the issues you and your husband agree on (i.e., uncontested issues), and the other should include those you don’t agree on (i.e., contested issues).
   
   
   
3. Prioritize your contested issues.
   The issue most important to you should be #1, the second #2 and so on. Once you’ve established your priorities, determine how you’d like each issue to be resolved. For example, if spousal support is an unresolved issue, decide the amount, frequency and duration of support you’d like to receive.
   
   
   
4. Meet with your family lawyer to discuss mediation.
   During the meeting, ask your lawyer to explain your legal rights for each contested issue and give her opinion about the likely outcome if a judge at trial decided the issues. Also, ask your lawyer about risks she believes you would be taking if you didn’t resolve issues in mediation.
   
   
   
5. Consider your lawyer’s advice and reprioritize issues if necessary.
   Research additional information you may need to make necessary adjustments and prepare for mediation.
   
   
   
6. Create goals for each of the contested issues on your list.
   For example, if you’d like to receive $1,000 monthly spousal support for 10 years, make this your goal for mediation.
   
   
   
7. Identify your bottom lines for the contested issues on your list.
   For example, if your lawyer thinks a judge may award you $800 monthly spousal support for eight years, you may make this your bottom line (i.e., the least you’re willing to accept).
   
   
   
8. Move away from a win–lose attitude and towards a spirit of compromise.
   Make your goals and bottom lines general guidelines not fixed rules and be reasonably flexible.
   
   
   
9. Relax and clear your mind before the mediation.
   Spend a day at a spa, go for a hike or do whatever it is you love. Rejuvenate and clear your mind so you’re rested and ready for mediation.

This article is not legal advice. You should consult an attorney if you have legal questions that relate to your specific divorce.

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