Asking Your Husband to Mediate In divorce, people choose to mediate instead of litigate for a number of reasons. If your husband isn’t aware of any of these reasons and you’re trying to coax him into mediation, the following points may be helpful:

1. Mediation is usually less expensive than litigation.
   If you negotiate issues like child custody, child and spousal support, and property division you can avoid significant court costs and legal fees.
   
   
2. Mediation is private.
   You can discuss personal business in the comfort of a private office with a mediator instead of a public courtroom with countless strangers.
   
   
3. You have control over the outcome of your case.
   You can collectively resolve all issues in your divorce, provided your state’s laws permit your choices. You don’t have to surrender control to a judge who, knowing very little about you, will make decisions about your future.
   
   
4. You can expedite the divorce.
   If you avoid lengthy discovery, motions, hearings and trials your case move forward rapidly and, ideally, be resolved quickly.
   
   
5. You can avoid the adversarial nature of litigation.
   You can work together and preserve a friendship that lasts long after your divorce is final.
   
   
6. You can establish custody and visitation and establish a mutually agreeable co-parenting agreement.
   You can discuss education, religion, and extra–curricular activities, and establish the framework for making future decisions about your child’s well being.
   
   
7. You can (and should) review all mediated agreements with your own lawyer before you become legally bound by them.
   
   

If your husband understands the benefits of mediation and agrees to give it a try, find a qualified and compatible mediator using our Guidelines for Finding a Mediator and Tips for Choosing a Mediator.

This article is not legal advice. You should consult an attorney if you have legal questions that relate to your specific divorce.

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