Divorce can be hard. Really hard. Your spouse’s unexpected decision to divorce may have you feeling shocked, frightened, angry, and confused. Or you may be struggling with feelings of guilt, anxiety, and frustration because you are contemplating or have already made the decision to divorce.
If you are experiencing any of these or similar emotions, I have good news for you. You can harness your raw emotions and use the energy to confidently make difficult decisions in your divorce.
Even in the midst of confusion, unwelcomed surprises, and pressure from others, you can stay true to yourself and make choices that are aligned with who you are and what you value. You can do this! I’ll show you how.
So, if you are ready to stay true to yourself in divorce, make your best choices, and feel supported on your journey, begin now by taking the steps listed below. (Be sure to bookmark this page and come back often EVEN if you are working with a divorce lawyer or mediator. Knowledge is power and with it you can make difficult decisions in divorce that are right for you and your family.)
Step One: Embrace the Process
In divorce you will hear many messages about what you “should” do; what you are legally “entitled” to receive; what you “deserve”. The opinions of your well-intentioned friends, family, and experts may make it hard for you to decipher your own needs. Don’t give your power away or succumb to the influence of others. Shape your divorce by learning how to make decisions that reflect who you are and what you value.
If you are contemplating or in the early phases of divorce, my Soul Centered Divorce process will show you step-by-step how to make confidently make difficult decisions in divorce. It will help you gain clarity about what you value most, gather the information you need to make educated decisions, brainstorm your options, and strategize your next best steps in divorce. When you embrace and use my Soul Centered Divorce process you can stay true to yourself in divorce, despite what others think. To learn more and start using my process immediately, download your copy of The Soul Centered Divorce, 7 Steps to Making Difficult Divorce Decisions with Confidence and Clarity.
Step Two: Speak to Me
If you are like most women, you spend your days juggling multiple roles, rushing, and multi-tasking. You put the needs of others ahead of your own and now, you are on the verge of, or just beginning divorce and don’t know what to do next. You need help. You want to figure out a game plan; get clear about your options; overcome barriers; set goals, and maintain your momentum. You want to work with someone who knows where you are and where you’re going; someone who can help you sift through the information, prioritize, and make decisions that are aligned with what you value most. You want to be encouraged and supported as you make this major life transition. You want to speak with and you can, weekly or bi-weekly. Together, we can formulate a plan that is specifically designed to meet your needs, keep you focused, and transforms your divorce experience. Learn more and schedule a consultation now.
Step Three: Be Supported
Getting divorced often takes months, if not years. The process is easily initiated, but quickly slows down. It can stagnate during the discovery phase and come to a grinding halt when emotions get in the way or you are unable to make tough decisions. Your spouse can drag his feet, but you don’t have to. You can stay focused and be kept on track by a group of intelligent, like-minded women who want to see you move forward with your life and make your best choices in the process. With weekly support, bi-weekly lessons, and ongoing encouragement you can maintain momentum, make decisions that are right for you, and make your best efforts to promptly wrap-up your divorce. When you open yourself up to others and commit to an ongoing curriculum, you will become more accountable and in turn, make more progress. Join my 2012 coaching circle now.
Step Four: Connect with Friends
When you are in the midst of divorce, it can be especially difficult late at night or when your family isn’t around to lend a shoulder. You feel isolated and alone, but crave connection and community. This is why I created The Modern Woman’s Divorce Guide’s “secret” Facebook group. This informal group setting allows you to easily connect with other divorcing women 24/7 so you can find support and encouragement when you need it most. Because I believe it is invaluable for you to connect with like minded women, my facebook group is only open to women who are committed to staying true to themselves during divorce. So, you will receive an invitation to join my facebook group when you download The Soul Centered Divorce, 7 Steps to Making Difficult Divorce Decisions with Confidence and Clarity and embrace the soul centered divorce process.
Step Five: Luxuriate and Learn
When you step away from the noise and confusion of life you can restore your body, calm your mind, and reconnect with your soul. When you are connected with your soul, you can confidently acknowledge who you are and what you value. When you know who you are and what you value, you can make your best divorce decisions. There is no better place to reconnect with your soul and make your best divorce decisions than at one of my luxury divorce retreats. In a relaxing and rejuvenating setting, you will unwind with spa treatments, meditations, and yoga. You will be well cared for with healthy meals, sumptuous accommodations, and the company of other daring women. You will be expertly guided through the Soul Centered Divorce process and encouraged to stay true to yourself during divorce. When you are surrounded by luxury and supported by experts, exploring the issues in your divorce and charting your next steps will feel more like an adventure, a stepping-stone instead of an obstacle. You will come away feeling rested and empowered, knowing that you have a practical plan for taking your next best steps in divorce – steps that are aligned with who you are and what you value. Start planning for your retreat here.
Step Six: Make it Fast and Friendly
If you and your spouse agree to the terms of your divorce you can get divorced in California without going to court or hiring attorneys. The Fast and Friendly Divorce, How to Get Legally Divorced in California Without Going to Court or Hiring Attorneys will show you step-by-step exactly how to file all of the legal paperwork required to get legally divorce in California. My system also includes completed sample forms that you can use as references when filling out your own forms, downloadable blank legal forms, and links to your local court’s rules and additional forms. There are two versions of my system, one for couples with children and the other, for couples without children, which keeps things simple for you.
Knowledge is power and when you’re just starting your divorce, there is a lot of knowledge to be gained. Of course you are curious about your state’s laws and procedures, but you also want to know about your options – like mediation, collaboration, and litigation. You also probably have questions about who you need on your team (besides me), which information you should gather, and a plethora of other issues that are unique to your case. It takes time to gain the necessary knowledge you will need in your divorce, but you can begin your education now by reading the articles listed below, that are specifically relevant to this phase of your divorce. Remember to bookmark this page and reference the articles again when you need them. Also, as your divorce progresses, be sure to review the information and articles listed on these two additional pages: Using Mediation or Collaborative Divorce and Preparing for, and Going to Trial.
Alimony, Spousal Support, Maintenance
- Alimony, Spousal Support and Maintenance Explained
- Quick Facts About Spousal Support, Alimony, and Maintenance
- Family Support and Unallocated Alimony
Child Custody and Support
- Child Support Guidelines and Your Case
- Family Support and Unallocated Alimony
- State Child Support Calculators
- Child Support Enforcement
- Collaborative Family Law: A New More Peaceful Approach to Family Law?
- Do You Really Need a Divorce Coach in the Collaborative Process?
- Making Collaborative Law Divorce Joint Sessions Productive
- Resolving Child Custody Problems Using Collaborative Law
- What Every Woman Should Know About Collaborative Divorce
Decision Making and Taking Action
- 3 Mistakes Women Make in Divorce and How to Avoid Them
- The Theory of Relativity and Divorce Decisions Making
- Using Collaborative Law to Resolve Property Issues in Divorce
Finances, Taxes, and Estate Planning
- Divorce on a Shoestring Budget
- Finding Free Legal Advice
- The Financial Facts Behind Divorce
- Making Your Money Go Further
- Lost in Transition: Keeping Your Financial Plan on Track Before, During, and After a Divorce
- Estate Planning and Divorce
- The Tax Man Cometh
- Tax and the Single Girl – Seven Things you Need to Know
Going to Court
- Courtroom Composure: Tips for your Courtroom Appearances
- Know What to Expect in Divorce Court
- The Divorce Trial Gamble
- Using a Settlement Conference for Success in your Divorce
- Community Property Explained
- Equitable Distribution on Basics
- How do we value our house in divorce?
- Separate Property Basics
State Specific Resources
Working with Professionals
This article is not legal advice. You should consult an attorney if you have legal questions that relate to your specific divorce.