In the spirit of the holidays, here’s a list of 13 things a divorcing or divorced woman might ask Santa for this year:
- Make her ex-husband disappear
- Transfer all of her ex-husband’s assets into her name before he disappears
- Make sure her ex-husband’s life insurance policy is current at $1 million, then give him that Extreme heli-skiing trip he’s always wanted for Christmas.
- Turn her angst filled teenagers into entertaining little angels
- Send her two youngest children to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s house for the holidays
- Pay-off the mortgage, cars and credit cards
- Convince her divorce lawyer to treat her case as a pro bono case next year
- Miraculously erase her wrinkles and firm the suddenly sagging parts of her body
- Turn her humdrum career into her dream job
- Giver her the winning numbers for the next $50 million lottery
- Deliver one handsome sugar daddy and one boy toy to her doorstep – although not at the same time
- End the television writer’s strike
- Let there be peace on earth
This is not legal advice and is filled with sarcasm and humor. You should consult an attorney if you have legal questions that relate to your specific divorce and ex-husband. Technorati Tags: thursday thirteen divorce planning preparing how to separation divorcing getting divorced santa ex-husband wish list women woman law
I LOVE it! Shame, shame, shame on me. Wait, I would be happy if he would just share some of those assets, at least with his kids. I’m prayin’ for that dream job and maybe tomorrow I’ll wake up with all my body parts firm etc. Ah, you made me laugh. And that’s a great gift for Christmas. Have a great one.
I’m glad you LOVE it and it made you laugh!! We’re trying spread a little holiday cheer this week – even if it’s wrapped in a little bit of sarcasm!
Helene.
10 and 13? Yes definitely. 1-3, uh, hell to the yes. LOL.
Happy Thursday!
Sharing assets? I’d be happy if he just got a job and started paying support… instead of my having to pay him… and I have custody…. Thanks for the laugh!!!!
I’ll take the world peace.
My TT is about the solstice this week.
ha! Hear, hear! I am horrified that so many men bail not only on their wives but their obligations to their kids. If there is anything I hate, it’s a deadbeat parent (of either sex, but it’s usually the male party). They should all have to spend eternity being told off by Judge Judy.
I thought I had written a list like this at some point when I was getting divorced but can’t find it now. Was fun to read your list.
Simply hilarious and very true! I am sure every divorced woman would want these things and definitely do not let the Sugar Daddy and Boy Toy meet
Yep! I remember thinking some of those things when I was divorcing. I’m remarried now, and heck, I still think of some of those!
Heh, rough holiday for him, huh?
Happy TT
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