If you’ve been out of the dating world for years or you’re just a little too trusting, dating after divorce can be like an adventure in uncharted territory. You can end up on BAD dates, Crazy dates, GREAT dates, and Inexplicable dates. You also can find yourself on dates with Momma’s boys, Addicts (work or substances), Narcissists, and Players. These dates waste your precious time and can take a toll on your psyche if you’re not prepared.
But how can you prepare for the dating field land mines or better yet, avoid them? Thankfully, there is a wealth of free information available to guide you through the dating process and today, we’d like to share some wisdom imparted to us by Matt Titus, “relationship expert”, published author, and the star of Matched in Manhattan.
According to Matt Titus, there are 5 Ways to Decode a Player, and they are:
- He will try to make it completely convenient for himself by going some place cheap, casual and close to his apartment
- His initial interest in you is to eventually sleep with you. Nothing more, nothing less. So, the player will try to get you drunk, assuming it will be easier to get you to go home with him.
- If he tries to get you to leave with him, within an hour of meeting you, he wants you for one thing and one thing only.
- If he doesn’t take the cheap route, he will wine and dine you, but only for a time or two. Then, he will lose interest and quickly turn from Prince Charming to Mr. Unappealing.
- The player won’t call. He is playing games. Be sure not to call him, it won’t be worth your phone minutes in the end.
Based on my dating experiences after divorce I can say that it is both easy and difficult to spot a player. Sometimes it’s just obvious based on his approach, language, and offer. At other times it’s difficult to decipher because he’s such a good actor and there are no tell tale signs. That said, I think Matt probably has a good sense of things given that he is a self proclaimed reformed “bachelor” (now happily married to Emmy Award winning television journalist, Tamsen Fadal) and a professional Match Maker who spends LOTS of time working men. So, if you’re out in the dating world, perhaps you can apply Matt’s decoding techniques and if you have any of your own, we’d love to hear them.
