An Interview with Missouri Family Lawyer Carla G. Holste
Carla G. Holste has over 20 years of family law experience. She has been appointed as the chair of the Family Law Section of the Missouri Bar and also serves as the chair of the legislative family law subcommittee. Ms. Holste has written articles for the Missouri Bar’s Continuing Legal Education series on child support and maintenance and has spoken at various seminars on topics addressing family law. Ms. Holste is a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and a member of Carson & Coil, P.C., Attorneys at Law, located in Jefferson City, Missouri. Ms. Holste may be reached at 573/636-2177 or carla.h@carsoncoil.com.
Recently, Ms. Holste took time out of her busy schedule to answer The Modern Woman’s Divorce Guide questions about divorce.
1. What are the grounds for divorce in your state? Missouri is a modified, non-fault divorce state. Typically, a petition for dissolution of a marriage would allege that there is no reasonable likelihood that the marriage can be preserved and the marriage is irretrievably broken. If both parties agree to that allegation, then the court can grant the divorce. If, however, the respondent denies that allegation, then the petitioner must prove one of the following grounds in order to obtain a divorce:
a. The respondent committed adultery and the petitioner finds it intolerable to live with the respondent;
b. The respondent has behaved in such a way that the petitioner cannot reasonably be expected to live with the respondent (often used in domestic violence situations);
c. The respondent has abandoned the petitioner for a continuous period of at least six months preceding the filing of the petition;
d. The parties have lived separate and apart by mutual consent for a continuous period of twelve months immediately preceding the filing of the petition; or
e. The parties have lived separate and apart for a continuous period of at least two years immediately preceding the filing of the petition (note, mutual consent not required for this ground).
2. Does fault (such as infidelity or domestic violence) affect the outcome of a divorce in your state? If so, how? Yes. Fault may allow a court to grant the divorce even if the offending party does not want a divorce. Also, Missouri is an “equitable distribution” state. That means that the courts can consider marital misconduct when dividing the assets and the debts. Infidelity and domestic violence can be considered as marital misconduct, which might affect the distribution. There are other types of conduct, which can be considered, including gambling, financial misconduct (such as hiding of assets or disposing of assets without the other party’s consent), fraud, and substance abuse.
3. If a woman is preparing for divorce what, if anything, can she do to improve the outcome of her case? First, she must contact an experienced domestic relations attorney as soon as possible. Second, she should gather as much information as she can regarding the parties’ assets and debts as well as information concerning the children born of the marriage. She should take steps to separate her financial transactions from her husband’s, such as setting up a bank account in her own name only. In cases involving domestic violence, she should seek protection from the courts through an order of protection/restraining order and contact local domestic violence shelters for additional support and resources.
4. What are some of the biggest obstacles women face in divorce? If they have been out of the workforce for a number of years, then re-entry into the workforce is sometimes difficult. Statistically, many women still earn less than many men so it becomes more difficult for those women to be as financially secure following the divorce.
5. When should a woman take her case to trial? When shouldn’t she? Trials are expensive, both financially and emotionally. One should only go to trial when there really is not a reasonable alternative. Settling a case can have its advantages, such as greater detail in the terms and the ability to have some say in what the terms will be in the divorce.
6. How can a woman make divorce easier on her children? First of all, both parties need to remember that the children, in most cases, love both parents. The children generally do not want the parents to get a divorce. Remember how difficult the divorce is for them — sometimes it’s even scary because they fear the loss of love from one parent. Do not attempt to alienate them from the other parent. Talk to them gently about the fact that the parents are divorcing, but in terms that the children can understand. Do not try to keep the children from seeing the other parent. The children may resent you later for doing so. Reassure them that both parents still love them. Do not argue with your spouse/former spouse in the presence of the children. Do not tell the children to keep secrets from the other parent. In general, keep the children out of the divorce as much as possible. Your issues are not necessarily their issues.
7. What qualities should a woman look for in a divorce lawyer? First, the attorney should be willing to listen to all of her concerns. Second, the attorney should be experienced in domestic relations law. Third, the attorney should be willing to take the time to answer all questions. If you do not feel comfortable at the initial consultation, then the attorney may not be the right one to represent you. Some attorneys like to be very aggressive. Others prefer a more subtle approach. You need to find an attorney that understands you and what you want to achieve in your divorce.
8. What should a woman do if she disagrees with her divorce layer’s recommendations? First, she should discuss this in detail with her attorney. Explain to the attorney why you are opposed to the recommendation. There may be another resolution that can be reached. If the lawyer still makes the same recommendation, then the woman should seek out a second opinion from another experienced domestic relations attorney.
9. If you could impart any of your wisdom to a woman who is going through divorce, what would it be? Gather as much information about your finances as you can, talk to your lawyer as soon as you can, listen to your lawyer’s advice and provide as much information to your lawyer as you can. Do not do anything that might impact your divorce without first consulting with your lawyer. Take care of yourself and your children as much as possible. Try to remain as calm as possible. You will survive the process much better if you do not panic and follow your attorney’s advice.
This article is not legal advice. You should consult an attorney if you have questions that relate to your divorce and finances.
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Posted by ModDiva on January 15th, 2008 filed in Divorce Lawyer, Family Lawyer Interview Series, Missouri |
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