the modern woman's divorce guide

Telling your husband that you want a divorce can be the most difficult and important conversation you’ll ever have. It can set the tone of your dissolution process and affect the way you relate to each other thereafter. It is therefore beneficial to prepare before having the “talk”. “But how?” you ask. Well, Pauline H. Tessler, M.A., J.D., and Peggy Thompson, Ph.D., co-authors of Collaborative Divorce: The Revolutionary New Way to Restructure Your Family, Resolve Legal Issues, and Move on with Your Life make the following suggestions for handling the discussion:

1. “Think about your deeply held ethical, religious, spiritual, and philosophical values. Then focus on those you particularly hope will infuse this difficult conversation.”
2. “Write out several different possible scripts that you could use, with word choice and tone.”
3. Relax and clear your mind before the conversation.
4. Phrase your statements from the “‘I’ position, such as ‘I’ think…’ or ‘I feel.”
5. Try to maintain your composure during the conversation and refrain from getting angry, blaming or using inflammatory language.
6. If you suspect your husband may become violent or depressed during the conversation, prepare by meeting in a public place or by letting his friends and family know that he may need them in the next few days.

Remember, telling your husband you want a divorce may not be easy, but it is necessary for you to move forward with your life. So, prepare and handle it with the most grace you can summon from within so you can end your marriage with your integrity in tact. ~Helene

This is not legal advice. You should consult an attorney if you have legal questions that relate to your specific divorce. Technorati Tags: divorce thinking getting talking husband divorce marriage dissolution legal women woman law