the modern woman's divorce guide

Sandra Tedlock is Certified Family Law Specialist practicing in Tucson, Arizona. She has been handling family law matters including dissolutions of marriage and premarital agreements for over 25 years. She is a fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. She is a member of many legal organizations including the Family Law Sections of the Arizona State Bar Association and the American Bar Association. She can be reached at 520/885-9301 or st@tedlock.com.

Recently, Ms. Tedlock took time out of her busy schedule to answer The Modern Woman’s Divorce Guide’s questions about divorce.

1. What are the grounds for divorce in your state? Arizona is a no-fault state. There must be a finding that the marriage is irretrievably broken.

2. Does fault (such as infidelity or domestic violence) affect the outcome of a divorce in your state? If so, how? Not generally. The Court may consider domestic violence as one of the factors in making a decision on custody of the children.

3. If a woman is preparing for divorce what, if anything, can she do to improve the outcome of her case?

• She should make sure that she is knowledgeable about the finances.
• She should have copies of all important financial documents. These would include tax returns for the past three years, current pay-stubs of the parties, a recent credit report, copies of all bank account statements, retirement account statements, credit card and credit line statements, mortgages and any other financial information.
• She should make sure her health and dental needs are taken care of as insurance may changed after the divorce.
• If she is not employed outside the home, she should investigate education and employment opportunities and try to make a plan for her future.
• She should get legal advice early in her case, even if it is just a consultation.

4. What are some of the biggest obstacles women face in divorce?

• One is a lack of financial information.
• One is not accepting the emotions that come with a divorce.

Women would be well advised to obtain some personal counseling to help with
the emotions of the divorce.

5. When should a woman take her case to trial? When shouldn’t she? This depends on each individual case. Generally, if on the advice of her lawyer, she would get a better result in trial, she should go to trial. She should not go to Court to try to prove her husband is wrong or that she deserves more that the Court is likely to allow. However, she should should go to Court if her husband is not making reasonable settlement proposals.

6. How can a woman make divorce easier on her children?

• She needs to keep her emotions about her husband out of the way of the children and should not talk about the divorce or her husband in the hearing of the children. She should have a counselor or other close person to talk to about the divorce, when the children are not around, as they have big ears.
• She should be reassuring to the children that they will be fine and that they will still be able to see both parents and have a relationship with both parents, unless the father has disappeared, or does not want to be involved with the children.
• She should not get involved with a new relationship while the divorce is going on and for a reasonable period after the divorce. If the children are having difficulty, she should get them involved in counseling.

7. What qualities should a woman look for in a divorce lawyer? She should look for a Certified Family Law Specialist. Of the specialists, she should find someone who is realistic about the case and does not promise an unrealistic result. She should find someone who is available and will listen and explain the law and the process fully.

8. What should a woman do if she disagrees with her divorce lawyer’s
recommendations? First, she should express that disagreement to her lawyer and discuss the reasons for the recommendations and the disagreement. If she
still disagrees, she should get a second opinion from another lawyer. If the second opinion is the same, then she should follow the advice of the lawyers. If there is a difference of opinion, she should talk to her lawyer again, and then consider changing lawyers.

9. If you could impart any of your wisdom to a woman who is going through divorce, what would it be?

• She should be very patient with the process. It takes time to get a divorce right. Rushing it encourages mistakes and poor decisions. She should not make decisions about the divorce when she is not emotionally ready to do so.
• Be informed throughout the process on the finances. Make sure she understands understand everything and she doesn’t, ask questions.
• She should look forward as much as possible to her future and not look back at the past and the what-ifs.

10. Are there any divorce books or resources that you would like to recommend to women going through divorce? If so, please list them below. There are many good books on divorce, just be sure that the advice
in the books follows the law of your state. Ask your lawyer if you have
questions about this. There are many Internet sources also, but the best
ones are the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and the American Bar
Association Family Law Section.

This article is not legal advice. You should consult an attorney if you have questions that relate to your divorce and finances.

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