Weekly Divorce Tip #23
Telling your children about divorce is challenging, but essential. According to Gary Neuman, a psychotherapist and divorce expert who appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show a few weeks ago, “the way children are told about their family breaking up is a seminal moment that no child forgets.”
So, how do your tell your children about divorce without scaring them for life? Gary Neuman recommends you do it by following these basic rules:
- “Both parents should be present to tell the children together - with the main message being, you, the children, are still our priority.
- It should not take more than 45 seconds.
- Practice what you’re going to say, before blurting out things that can hurt forever.
- Never disparage the other parent, because it makes your child feel guilty about loving them.”
This is not legal advice. You should consult an attorney if you have legal questions that relate to your specific divorce. Technorati Tags: divorce tips telling your children about divorce divorcing child legal women woman help resources marriage relationships law blog
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Posted by ModDiva on October 22nd, 2007 filed in Children and Divorce, Divorce Tips |
October 22nd, 2007 at 9:41 am
Yes, you are correct in your sensitivity toward telling kids about divorce. My own experience more than a decade ago led to my writing a guidebook for parents on how to create a storybook with family photos and history as a successful way to have this tough conversation. It’s called How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook(TM) Guide to Preparing Your Children — With Love! I have endorsements from therapists, attorneys, mediators, educators and other professionals from around the U.S. attesting to the value of my fill-in-the-blanks age-appropriate templates. Six therapists contribute their expertise to the book, as well. I hope divorcing couples will stop, talk and create a plan before having that crucial “divorce” talk with their children and hope, for the sake of their kids, they will decide to move ahead in creating a child-centered divorce. For free articles and more information, visit http://www.childcentereddivorce.com.
Best wishes,
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
rosalind@childcentereddivorce.com
December 24th, 2007 at 4:46 am
My daughter recently went through a divorce. Everything they had was listed and each item was given a value with the decree declaring which items were given to her and which items went to her former husband. …