Alexandra Leichter has been a family law attorney for 34 years. Her practice, located in Beverly Hills, California, emphasizes alternate dispute resolution. Ms. Leichter is a California Certified Family Law Specialist and a member of the International Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, the Los Angeles County Bar Association, the Beverly Hills Bar Association and the Women Lawyers Association of Los Angeles. She also is the author of many family law journal and reference book articles. Ms. Leichter can be reached via e-mail at leichterlaw@usa.net or via phone at 310/278-3112.

Recently, Ms. Leichter took time out of her busy schedule to answer The Modern Woman’s Divorce Guide’s questions about divorce.

1. What are the grounds for divorce in California? Only two grounds for divorce in California: “irreconcilable differences” and “incurable insanity”. But in 34 years of family law practice I’ve never had a case where insanity was the cause. Essentially, we are a no-fault divorce state—you file for divorce, serve it and 6 months later can obtain your divorce by simply filling out a document, or stating in open court, that “irreconcilable differences have arisen to cause the irremediable breakdown of the marriage”, and bingo—you’re divorced. (Of course, there are other issues that may impede your ability to obtain that instant divorce—i.e. When financial, custody or support issues haven’t been resolved, you may either have to await trial on those issues or sign a list of guarantees that will remedy any of the harm caused to the other side by an early dissolution of the marriage).

2. Does fault (such as infidelity or domestic violence) affect the outcome of a divorce in your state? If so, how? Fault is not allowed as evidence on any issue except custody. Domestic violence will impact the right of the abusing parent to obtain custody under certain circumstances.

3. If a woman is preparing for divorce what, if anything, can she do to improve the outcome of her case? Retain a family law consultant (an attorney who is a family law specialist but who will not be taking on the case, so the opinion obtained will be totally unbiased), obtain as much of the family financial information as they can find, including tax returns, financial statements, Quicken program printouts, bank and security account statements, etc., and come prepared to tell the Consultant all the facts and information that you may know. The Consultant will often advise when and where to file, what information will be necessary, whether to wait for better or worse circumstances, what evidence will need to be gathered, and will likely provide the names of at least 3 attorneys who will most likely meet the needs of the client.

4. What are some of the biggest obstacles women face in divorce? Women are often their own worst enemies in divorce cases. They often pretend to have no knowledge of financial information because they left it all up to their husbands, yet when queried carefully, they actually know more than they think they know. They tend to feel sorry for their husbands even when abused by them emotionally or mentally, and often prevent their own attorneys from being sufficiently forceful on their behalf. If physically abused, many women tend to return to the abusive husband even when their attorneys have obtained sufficient financial awards to enable them to remain on their own—they tend to believe their husband’s apologies: over and over again. Women tend to have far less confidence in their own abilities to survive and take care of themselves even when it is proven to them that they can, indeed, do so.

5. When should a woman take her case to trial? When shouldn’t she? Each case differs. No two cases are alike, just as no two people or two couples are alike. It is impossible to create a template to determine which cases should be settled and which cases should be tried. It is important for all people involved in divorce cases to understand that just because they want to settle it doesn’t mean that the other party is willing to do so. I often liken the concept of a one-sided settlement effort to the “sound of one hand clapping”.

6. How can a woman make divorce easier on her children? All parties in a divorce can make divorce on their children easier if they understand the following (assuming that the children are not being abused by either parent):

a. Children must be made to understand that the divorce is not their fault, that their parents simply don’t want to “play with each other any more”, but that they love their children equally.

b. Respect the children as individual human beings—they are not pieces of property to be divided between the parties.

c. Keep the children out of the conflict. Children will bear with almost any custodial arrangement if the parents don’t fight. Conversely, the best custodial arrangement in the world will still wreak havoc with the children if the parents continue to fight.

d. What the children see in your relationship with the other parent is what they will model in their own relationships when they become adults—look at yourselves and see whether that’s how you want your children to behave.

7. What qualities should a woman look for in a divorce lawyer

a. Does the lawyer have extensive experience in representing parties in similar types of cases.

b. Does the lawyer represent an approximate equal number of men and women (so their view of cases are not skewed by over-representation of one side)

c. Does the lawyer return calls and respond to correspondence within a reasonable period of time (no more than 48 hours later, unless it’s a holiday or a weekend).

d. How many lawyers will be working on the case, and what are their experience in handling the type of case you have

e. Does the lawyer charge a fee that is affordable by you.

f. Ask three other family law attorneys for references, and the names that come up more often are the ones that are more likely to be respected.

g. Is the lawyer known for being litigious or for being more settlement oriented—the choice will depend on what the other party is likely to do in the case (a more litigious spouse will require that the opposition be equally well matched in the boxing arena.

8. What should a woman do if she disagrees with her divorce lawyer’s recommendations? Seek a second opinion—preferably from an “Evaluator” who is not interested in taking on the case so that second opinion will more likely be unbiased.

9. If you could impart any of your wisdom to a woman who is going through divorce, what would it be? Get a good lawyer, be diligent in responding to your lawyer’s request for document and information, and follow the lawyer’s advice. Nothing interferes with a case more than the client who refuses to “deal” with the case because they are traumatized, lazy, or simply unwilling to deal with the myriad of minute details involved with the case. Additionally, it is most important to obtain a good therapist who specializes in “divorce counseling” (different from “marriage counseling”) who can help the litigant with the emotional roller-coaster that’s automatically involved in every divorce—regardless of who left the marriage, or the reasons for the breakup. A good therapist can help overcome the trauma of the divorce and thus help the party deal with the financial issues that must be concentrated upon with the attorney. The attorney is neither qualified nor financially suited to be the therapist as well.

10. Are there any divorce books or resources that you would like to recommend to women going through divorce? There are scores of divorce books that come out every year. One need only go to the bookstore and peruse the aisles. These books, however, should only be read as ‘suggestions”. They are no substitute for a a good lawyer and a good therapist.

Private Adjudication Offices of
ALEXANDRA LEICHTER, CFLS*
Family Law:
Private Judging/Arbitration
Reference/Case Management
Consultation/Case Evaluation
8665 Wilshire Blvd., Penthouse
Beverly Hills, Ca. 90211
(310) 278-3112
(310) 657-4346 fax
leichterlaw@usa.net
*Certified by the California
State Bar Board of Legal Specialization

This article is not legal advice. You should consult an attorney if you have questions that relate to your divorce and finances.

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