Yesterday I went to my dentist, who is a woman I have grown to know and trust. She is thorough, professional and in my mind, practices conservative dentistry. Whenever I visit she conducts a detailed examination, asks questions, conducts tests and reviews my historical dental records. She then describes her findings, makes recommendations and allows me to decide on my course of treatment. Yesterday was no different. After the examination she referred me to a specialist for a consultation, and told me we would discuss his recommendations before taking the next step.

Feeling comfortable with her game plan, albeit a bit bleary eyed from the pain in my jaw (the reason I was there), I left her office x-rays and referral slip in-hand, and walked into the specialist’s domain downstairs. As I stepped in the door I was greeted by a seemingly over caffeinated receptionist who was dressed for summer, even though it was cold and raining out. Gushing with energy she quickly ask me why I was there then, in the course of 8 minutes, took my vital information, put my data into the computer, walked my x-rays into a back room, introduced me to a man who looked like a football playing frat boy, scheduled an appointment for me the next day, had me sign a $1500 payment disclosure, offered me Xanax® for anxiety, told me I would be in the office tomorrow for one and a half to two hours, to continue taking antibiotics and start dosing up on Ibuprofen. Feeling a bit dazed I turned to walk out of the office but suddenly thought: “The doctor isn’t planning on doing a root canal tomorrow, is he? Would he without examining me?” I wasn’t even sure he knew my symptoms or which tooth was in revolt. So, I turned to the eager-to-please assistant with my question, to which she responded “Oh Yes! He could tell just by looking at your x-rays!” “Oh”, I said and stumbled out the door. Within seconds a cold blast of wind hit me and I came to my senses. A resounding “NO” came to mind and I thought: “they’ve got to be crazy!” There’s no way I’m paying $1500 to a man I’ve never met for an invasive procedure I’m not convinced I need. I felt like I was leaving a used car sales lot. Ugh! Obviously, I cancelled the appointment and scheduled an appointment for a second opinion.

While this whirlwind experience wasn’t positive, I’m grateful it happened. I’m thankful because it immediately reminded me to tell you that your divorce lawyer shouldn’t remind you of a used car salesman. Your family attorney should be someone you feel genuinely comfortable with and who has your best interests at heart. She or he should also be someone who examines your case thoroughly, asks questions, makes suggestions and ultimately, lets you make the final decisions regarding your divorce. So, if you have a divorce lawyer shopping experience that is similar to my specialist debacle yesterday, please run, don’t walk, from the offending lawyer’s office and keep searching until you find the “one” who is worthy of your time, trust and hard earned money.

If you need a little help with your quest, use our Guidelines for Finding a Family Lawyer, Tips for Choosing a Family Lawyer, Initial Consultation Questionnaire and Lawyer Evaluation Worksheet.

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