The Modern Woman’s Divorce Guide » Getting Divorced Is Like Going To The Dentist

Getting Divorced Is Like Going To The Dentist

Once you make the decision to divorce there are a million things you must do to make it happen. You probably have to move, open new bank accounts, hire a lawyer, file divorce papers, find your financial records, determine how to divide your assets, agree on child custody and visitation, go to court, change your name and…the list goes on and on.

These tasks, like going to the dentist, are a necessary evil. They aren’t things you want to do but they must be done to get divorced. Here are a few tips to help you tackle your chores and make them a thing of the past.

1. Educate yourself about the requirements for divorce in your state. Do this by visiting your court’s website or court clerk’s office. Also, download or pick-up your state’s divorce forms or kit. These usually include instructions that will give you a sense of what is required of you.

2. Set and write down clearly defined short term and long-term goals for the procedural requirements in your divorce. These might include, among other things, filling out forms, finding and copying personal records, going to the courthouse and meeting your lawyer, mediator or husband. If you need suggestions for your list, read our Divorce Planning article, which itemizes common divorce tasks.

3. Set and write down clearly defined short and long-term goals for the substantive issues in your case. These might include, among other things, establishing joint legal and physical custody, receiving $1,000 monthly in spousal support, keeping the house and selling the boat. This goal setting will help you decide what you really want to do with your personal life and what is most important to you. If you need a little help identifying the issues you need to address in your case, use our Divorce Issues Checklist.

4. Break down your goals into smaller manageable steps that you must complete daily or weekly. These might include, among other things, setting dates and times for filing out the forms, speaking with your husband about the substantive goals and if necessary, scheduling court hearing dates. Once you have your list start tackling the steps right away.

5. Maintain the most positive attitude possible given your circumstances. Attitude plays a big role in achieving goals. If you find you are struggling emotionally or mentally and this is preventing you from doing your divorce chores, seek the support and help of a friend, doctor, coach or paralegal. Or find inspiration, motivation or understanding online. Perhaps one of these blogs will help: The Positivity Blog, Blast O’ Joy, Women Walking in Wisdom’s Footsteps.

6. Reward yourself whenever you accomplish one of your goals. Cross the completed task off your list and do something special for yourself, even if it’s just the washing machine dance. This will give you a feeling of accomplishment, keep you motivated and move you forward towards finalizing your divorce.

Remember, getting divorced takes work. So pull yourself up by the bootstraps if necessary, knock the work out and set yourself free!
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