The Modern Woman’s Divorce Guide » The Power of “ME”

The Power of “ME”

I went to court last week because my ex wants to drastically cut my child support and spousal support. It’s been four years of fighting over money and I’ve spent so much in attorney fees that I decided to represent myself. Although it was not the most pleasant of experiences (I came out feeling like my skin had been peeled off), I was glad I did it. I could not have done it however, without the support and advice of all my supportive and loving family and friends. I’m especially lucky because they each have different talents and knowledge that I could tap into to prepare for the dreaded 2 ½ hour hearing.

There’s something very satisfying about standing up for yourself as opposed to sitting mute in the courtroom while someone else does your arguing. I would definitely do it again especially now that I know what I would be getting into. Even though it is a very trying process I feel stronger and more confident, albeit very tired, for having taken on the challenge. It never ceases to amaze me when he and his attorney tell bold face lies under oath but I realize they will pay the cost in the end (BAD KARMA). I have never once lied or misrepresented myself since the separation and divorce (that story to come sometime down the road) and for this I can sleep at night. Things haven’t always gone my way financially, but I’ve met some wonderful people and have had a lot of good things happen along the way (GOOD KARMA, I guess). Things that cannot be measured in dollars and cents; by this standard, I am a very wealthy woman.

I’ve learned a thing or two (thousand) about the process and of course afterwards I had to debrief with friends. What I finally figured out was that judges do not react in court the way someone does in a normal conversation. I kept feeling like I was not being heard because I expected him to acknowledge and be empathetic to my situation and the facts I was presenting. Once I understood that communication in a courtroom was very different from the world I live in, I was able to let it go. I now wait for a decision to be made that will significantly affect me and my children financially but hold tight to the fact that no one can take away from me what I truly value.

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