The Modern Woman’s Divorce Guide

Better Than Blue

On the eve of this beautiful New Year, I vowed to be a better person. I promised to meet each day optimistically and treat my challenges as opportunities for growth. I proclaimed I would be less sarcastic. I even announced I would consider my ex-husband in a new light.

“Heck” I said, as my friends cheered me on, “I’ll think of his tattered blue robe, the one he wears from dawn to dusk, a fashion statement. His new wife, the one he met online while we were married, shall be the ‘innocent bystander’.” As my friends cajoled me on, I swore not to judge my ex-husband’s commitment to unemployment or his distaste for exercise. Instead, I would liken his roundness to that of a peaceful Buddha.

Then, thankfully the ball began to drop and the shrill of the crowd around me, “…nine, eight, seven…” brought me to my senses. “Aaackk!!” I screamed. “What was I saying? More importantly, what was I drinking? I mean really, a tattered blue robe worn by a 33-year-old man sitting on a sofa in the middle of the day, a fashion statement?” I shuddered and turned toward my athletic, gainfully employed boyfriend, just as he made a toast. “To tattered blue robes.” He said. “Without which, I might not be here today.” Yes, I thought as I kissed him, thank goodness for tattered blue robes.

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